Are You a Noun or an Adjective?
Are you defined by your acts, or your essence?
You did an act of writing, so you define yourself a writer.
You did an act of painting, so you define yourself a painter
How do you define yourself?
Do you define yourself by your role or career title? Or what’s happened to you? Do you define yourself with nouns?
Are you a wife, mother, brother, son?
Are you a doctor, a writer, an engineer, a content creator?
Are you a cancer survivor or combat veteran?
Often we fall into the trap of defining ourselves by labels meant to free us, rather than restrict us. Are you an INTP Meyers Briggs personality type? Or a Projector type in Human Design?
Quite possibly, you are all of these things. But is that who you ARE, or simply the labels you define yourself with?
You could have done many things, but you chose to put your tracks down on paper. I respect your act. However now you think you are a writer. You are not. That is an expression of your invisible shield. You are a woman who is living her medicine, who did an act of writing, and you continue to define yourself by your acts. -Agnes Whistling Elk, Flight of the Seventh Moon
Let’s reframe this.
Try redefining yourself by who you are at your core, no matter what title or label you hold. These descriptors will typically be adjectives.
So what does that mean?
And how do I do that?
How do you respond when faced with a challenge? Are you resilient? Are you honest?
What are your gifts? Are you eloquent? Patient? Creative? Logical?
How do you feel when you receive abundance? Are you generous? Cautious?
Consider all the labels you discovered in your personal growth studies.
In Human Design I’m a 6/2 Emotional Manifesting Generator (MG). It’s a label, a title, that gives a hint about how I might operate in the world, but it’s not me. There are many other 6/2 Emotional MGs in the world, and we are all different.
This label shouldn’t put me in a box, but help me understand how I operate best.
Here are a couple of examples:
As an MG, I’m designed to have many plates in the air, and do a variety of things over my life, but… this isn’t an excuse for me to use when I get bored with something and just keep quitting to go on to the next thing. It does, however free me to explore all the things I want to explore without wondering “what’s wrong with me” when society says we’re “supposed” to choose one thing and stick with it.
Let’s say you are labeled an Introvert (I) in the Meyers’s Briggs personality quiz, but you like being around people! Does this mean you have to stop being around people because your type says you’re an introvert? Of course not! The introvert type means that you tend to work with ideas and analyze them from within more than interacting with others. You’re more deliberate in acting rather than moving quickly on an idea. And yes, you may prefer to work alone or in small groups. When you harness this gift, you’ll find that it’s ok for you to mull over decisions even when society says “just do it!”
The key is understanding these labels and using them to work for you in your life rather than to limit you.
And what about other labels.
If you’re a doctor now, once you retire are you simply a retired doctor? If you’re a stay at home mom, what happens when your children grow up and leave home? Who are you then?
Who are you all the time; before, during, and after a career?
Who are you before, during, and after a disease or event occurs in your life.
This is the true essence of who you are.
What are some of the labels you’ve defined yourself with in your life. Share them in the comments and then share some of the descriptors of who you are at your core.
I need your help!
I’m working on a new program and I’d like some input from you. If you would take a moment to answer either or both of the following:
What’s your greatest challenge around being your authentic self?
What does “living life on your terms” mean to you?
You can respond to this email (if you’re a subscriber and got this in your inbox), or send me a message. Thank you, I appreciate your time!
What a great post, Suzanne! Over-identifying with any role or label limits at best and destroys at worst--for if the role ends or the label no longer fits, a crisis of meaning occurs. I'll be messaging you with the answers to your questions. 😀