Five Ways We Make Life Complicated

Living passively and how we hand over control to others.

Hello LifeWalk family, and welcome to this week’s ponderings!

As I was sitting and reflecting on what to write about this week, a thought came to mind. It was about 35 years ago, in one of my first corporate jobs, that computers on every office desk were starting to become a “thing”.

Computers were going to:

• simplify our lives

• save paper

• save time

• make us more productive

Heck, we all had thoughts of saving the planet with fewer trees being chopped down and working 3 days a week because we’d be so productive and save so much time!

We had visions of a Star Trek like existence where everything was always clean (I don’t ever recall seeing a vacuum cleaner on the USS Enterprise) and we had plenty of time to spend sitting by a pond in an idyllic forest on the holodeck.

Lo and behold, it’s the 21st century and we have computers in our pockets, on our wrists, on our desks, in our kitchens… even our young children have almost unlimited computer access. Yet, we are working longer hours, feeling more stressed, and cutting down just as many trees (if not more), and never seem to have time for fun?

What the hell happened? This wasn’t the plan!

In attempting to simplify life, we’ve made it more complicated.

Computers saving the world aside, let’s take a look at how we make our everyday lives more complicated than necessary…

1. We try to be who and what we’re not
   Social media influencers, spiritual gurus, community leaders, advertising companies, and academia all try to tell us who or what we should be. We are told which hot trends to follow and which careers are the most profitable. We’re told which fashions are in (and out) and even which hobbies we should partake in to be fulfilled. The missing part of this equation is US, each of us. We are individuals with different strengths, weaknesses, likes, and dislikes. We cast our individuality aside and try to be what society tells us is the cool/successful/most spiritual way to be.

2. We pretend to love things (and people) that harm us
   Along the same lines as #1, we not only cling to things that don’t “fit” our personality, we are also encouraged to endure, even if something is harmful. We are praised for “staying the course”, and staying strong despite being in unhealthy relationships. We put ourselves in debt and sacrifice financial stability to keep up “appearances”.

3. We settle for mediocre and just ok
   We squash our dreams and settle for mediocrity, often because we were told at some point that something is impossible or that we aren’t good enough. We follow the legacy left to us by those who were either unable to unwilling to try to do greater things. We were discouraged instead of encouraged to break out of old patterns.

4. We do what’s expected instead of following our hearts
   Similar to #1 and #3, we do what we’re told instead of doing what’s in our hearts. We are disciplined from an early age to do as we’re told and not make waves. We are told to be “responsible” and to “fit in”. Dreams are not reality, they’re just dreams. We live wondering, “What if…?”

5. We react (in defense) to the world rather than respond (proactively)
   Living in reactive mode puts your decisions in the control of someone or something outside of you. When problems arise, reacting puts up a defense or a barrier to forward movement and solutions. It places blame and gives your control away. Responding assesses the situation and what can and will be done next. Reacting is about blame and being stuck. Responding is solution oriented.

Allowing others to dictate our choices may seem like the easy way out. Not taking responsibility for our own decisions, while seemingly simpler, only leads to more emotional complications. Living out of our design (in our “not self” as we often say in Human Design) only leads to disappointment, frustration, anger, or bitterness.

We all have our preferred methods of making life complicated. Which ones resonate with you? I’d love to hear how you keep them in check!

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A practice of mindfulness keeps us focused on the here and now, responding to our lives and acting with intention.

An excerpt from book #3 a Mindfulness Journal (coming in 2024):

“What do you feel right now, in this moment?  How do you allow those feelings to show?  When do you find yourself suppressing your feelings?  Imagine if you shifted the focus from making others comfortable to allowing yourself to feel.”

Coming soon! Book 3 in the Life Management 101 series.  Stay tuned for details and check out the first two books on Amazon while you’re waiting.