Is Your Relationship Even A Relationship?
Shoulds, tolerations, self sacrifices and how they negate our relationships
We spend much of our lives being told what we should do. We should be nice even when others hurt us. We should study hard to get good grades. We should go to university, get a good job, and settle down.
We also spend a lot of time tolerating things. We don’t necessarily hate these things, but we certainly don’t like them. We simply tolerate them. Whether it’s the color of your walls or your humdrum day job. We live with the minor discomforts because it’s easier than actually committing to a change. (Why not paint those beige walls blue or yellow?)
And why do we feel it’s noble to sacrifice our well being (read: mental health) for the sake of others? We want the relationship to work, so we give up on ourselves for the sake of… what? The relationship?
Only doing what we should do to fit in to society’s standards and agenda hides our true gifts from the world.
Tolerating “minor inconveniences” to avoid making changes reduces our quality of life.
Pretending to be what we’re not or sacrificing our needs so someone else feels (or functions) better actually nullifies the relationship.
Relationship noun
The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected.
If a relationship is about two people being connected, and one person isn’t representing their true self, then there is no “connection” between the two people. There’s only a connection between one person and an illusion.
And, if only one person is truly in the relationship, is it even a relationship?
Living with shoulds, tolerations, and self sacrifice only allows us a half-life; a life devoid of our own unique expression, with ourselves and others.
What I’m Reading This Week
Here are some other ‘stacks that have caught my attention this week. Check them out and subscribe or share if you like what they have to say:
