Removing the Masks
Embracing your courageous heart and choosing you
My memories of Halloweens past consist of the struggle to see and breathe behind a plastic mask with a tiny holes for eyes and mouth and tripping over the hem of the costume dress, only to have it torn to shreds by night’s end.
While the adults ooh’d and aah’d saying what a beautiful princess I was, I certainly wasn’t fooling anyone.
Then came the school years when we started making our own costumes. We’d dress up as something that reflected our personalities. Once a year, we could tap into a deeper part of ourselves that we weren’t comfortable showing in public unless it was clear we were “just pretending”.
As adults, the masks have changed, but are still there: trying to fit in at the job, in social circles, even with family. Sometimes we’ve worn the masks for so long, we don’t realize we’re wearing them. We’re so detached from our authentic selves that we don’t know how to take them off.
Then, one day, something clicked.
For me, I felt like how I was living wasn’t really me, but I couldn’t define exactly what was off. I had felt inklings of the “real me”, but it didn’t seem to fit in with my current life, so I kept it to myself and kept searching.
Life purpose books, personal development courses, new hobbies, and new friends slowly make their way into my world.
And then the pushback began from those who “knew me”: Why are you reading that? You’re fine the way you are. You don’t really believe all that stuff, do you?
Learning to be me was uncomfortable for them.
So back on went the mask, and I continued to explore in private. I didn’t want to lose my old life and old relationships, but the new stuff felt right, it felt comfortable. It felt like home.
You are already there.
As I began to explore what feels authentic, the masks began to feel more uncomfortable, like the plastic Halloween masks from childhood. I began to notice that discomfort and saw that I was obviously not who the mask said I was and it needed to come off. Slowly it did.
Instead of just being a stay at home mom, I started a business. (Despite the flack I got from some family members to “get a real job”). That business eventually shifted into coaching which felt even more right.
Over the years, the coaching focus shifted a few more times, each time inching closer and closer to what truly felt like my authentic calling.
What I discovered was that everything I had done all my life, if I was following my heart and not listening to criticism, was part of my design, part of my purpose.
It wasn’t just one of those jobs or business pivots that was my purpose, it was all of them. Because, what I learned was that it wasn’t what I was doing, but how I was doing it that defined my purpose.
When I learned how to get past the judgement of others and then my own self judgement, I began to enjoy following my heart, as random as that path may be.
It takes courage
It definitely takes courage to follow your heart when it means taking off the masks you’ve worn for others for so long. Learning about my design began to the open doors for setting boundaries, respecting my needs, and following my strategy.
I learned that doing a gazillion different things (often at once) is how I operate best, and it doesn’t mean I’m a flake or unfocused. Learning that I needed to trust my gut instinct about decisions, but then wait a bit to see if the feelings remained, has helped me make fewer spur of the moment decisions that end up in disaster.
Knowing that others might not understand how I operate and may judge me for it has been the biggest challenge. Taking off the masks and allowing ME to simply shine through has made that judgement easier to take (and ignore!)
What I’m Reading This Week
Here are some other ‘stacks that have caught my attention this week. Check them out and subscribe or share if you like what they have to say:
