Hello and welcome to this week’s contemplation.
I’ll be the first to admit, I’m rarely comfortable with what I see in the mirror. Menopause has taken its toll as has 15 years in a physically demanding job. While I know I’m in better shape than many, my body is certainly not “model material”.
The online world (which I participate in primarily due to my business) doesn’t support women like me:
no makeup (never cared for it, though I do get frequent compliments on my skin),
gray hair transitioning (I lucked out there as the gray is blending in well on its own without any help from highlighting),
jeans, tshirts, and boots are an everyday wardrobe (I gave up high heels many years ago and my feet thank me for that).
That said, when I look back at old pictures of myself (20-30 years ago) I looked “older”. Not old in the sense of gray hair and wrinkles, but vacant, lifeless. I dressed “old”. My clothes were drab and often ill-fitting. There was no spark in my eyes. I looked like I felt at the time… indifferent.
And the only mirror I owned was the one in the bathroom. I don’t care for mirrors.
To live in prison is to live without mirrors. To live without mirrors is to live without the self. -Margaret Atwood
The 63rd gene key showed up for me this week, and it’s a big part of my path. So what’s the 63rd about? Doubt. And the 63rd shadow shows up as self doubt and suspicion, a shadow that shows up frequently in my life, more so in the past few years than ever.
What is it about seeing ourselves in a mirror?
Even looking in a mirror and seeing an exact reflection of yourself, what your mind sees is an image that has been influenced over time. A perception. An opinion.
I don’t look in a mirror and see brown, medium length wavy hair, hazel eyes, a 5’7” body with some curves and a few rolls. I don’t see the skin with only a few blemishes and a few laugh lines around the eyes. I don’t see the woman who, all things considered, has aged pretty well.
I see a comparison of what is presented as perfection in society: out of shape, dull hair, tired looking, and certainly not glamorous.
What I see is a very skewed perception of reality.
The funny part is, I know it’s skewed and my mind still plays it out to be worse than it is. Self doubt rearing its ugly head.
Others As A Mirror of Ourselves
When we look at others, we don’t typically see facts there either. While we don’t tend to skew the reality of their appearance the way we do with ourselves, we do often project a reflection of what we see in ourselves.
What I mean, is that what we see in others that bothers us, is often something that bothers us about ourselves but haven’t admitted to (yet).
We call out a fault in someone else (that person is such a drama queen), but we don’t stop a take a look at our own actions and consider if we ever act that way.
Mirror, Mirror, On The Wall
Using actual mirrors and other people as mirrors can help us break free from the prison we create in our mind.
Rather than being stuck in a negatively skewed mental perception of ourselves, looking in the mirror on the wall and recognizing only the facts without the judgement can be freeing. It can help us learn to move past the negative self image and appreciate who and what we really are. Do I look like the airbrushed models on social media? No. But I do look like me, and considering my life thus far… I’m looking pretty good!
Viewing others as mirrors can wake us up to the reality of our own actions that we often fail to see. That selfish act I witnessed that bothered me so much? I can take it as a reminder to look inside myself for that same trait. A mirror of what I recognize in myself that I can now release. Opening the mind and having compassion for the other person and myself is another release from the prison in my mind.
The Inevitable Aha! Moment
As I get to the end of writing this piece, I thought I had made my points. And then the universe said “But wait, there’s more!”
Compassion.
All of this leads to compassion, for ourselves and for others. Having compassion for ourselves as we look in an unforgiving mirror, and compassion for others when we focus on actions that annoy us.
Gate 15 resides in my Conscious Sun in my Human Design. The conscious sun is, as Christie Inge puts it, “the most potent gift and purpose in your life”.
Gate 15 is the gate of compassion. It’s my primary challenge and the greatest gift I can share with others.
Want to know your Conscious Sun gate and other gates that reside in your design? Get your free Human Design chart today and start living your authentic life!